It's 1 a.m and I've just poured myself a glass of leftover Gruet Chardonnay to help heal the pain. I've been up crying, mostly on the phone to my mother; sorry mom! Not to mention, I have black eyeliner smeared all over my face. It's not the first time wine has come to my rescue, nor I'm sure will it be the last.
In October of 2001, I had my first panic attack. My brother walked in the room and asked what was wrong, "I think I'm having a heart attack!" I mumbled. I remember seeing the look of fear on his face. He threw me in the car and rushed me to the hospital. After an EKG and a lingering pain in my chest, I was diagnosed as having a panic attack. No one knows why they happen. I guess you just get to a place of overwhelming fear and your body reacts.
The next couple years were rough. I dreaded having another panic attack so greatly that my blood pressure was through the roof. The doc wanted to put me on Zoloft but I didn't think it was the best solution (plus, ladies, you totally loose your interest in men; might be a good thing now that I think about)! So, when I felt anxious or nervous, I would keep wine in the fridge and have a sip or two to help calm me down. I think it was White Zin but who cares, right?
Although I thought I was going "nutty" from fear of having another panic attack, riding in cars or not having a hospital nearby, I eventually regained my sanity. This evening, I call on wine to help heal me once more, but for different reasons this time. The stress that comes with wanting something that you don't know you will ever achieve is more than I can bare. I know many of you aren't religious but I hope I don't offend you by saying that I called out to God (screamed, really) for help. I often pray but tonight was more than a prayer. I want to get back to the place where I enjoy my life again, where I do things for joy, not for what the final outcome will be.
So tonight, as wine helps me to lick my wounds and dry my tears, I realize that life is about more than the final destination...and I'm going to be ok no matter what the result is, because really, I have everything I've ever wanted, right here, right now. Cheers.
I've already wrote more than enough to bore you, but what I will say is that this is one of my favorite pairings of all time. The 2007 Gruet Chardonnay from Albuquerque, New Mexico , along with Nutter Butters proves the power that wine and food have together. Although both are easy to enjoy individually, combined they create greatness. Both the wine and food are creamy and buttery on the palate, mirroring each other. The peanut butter flavor is also taken to a whole new level and intensified, yet the flavor of the wine still lingers in the background along with a hint of citrus. And if you're looking for an inexpensive, Burgundian style (area in France that specializes in this grape) Chardonnay...this is your wine. Cheers!
Please let me know your comments in the section below! I mentioned wine is always there when I'm hurting, but it's also by my side for all my successes too. When has wine been there for you? Let's chat!